In the legal process of ending your marriage, there is no longer an issue of attributing fault. The only issue now is whether your relationship has “irretrievably broken down”. Losing the fault line can help you choose to have a positive divorce.

Here, Teresa Davidson of Winston Solicitors, looks at what all that means:

“For most of our clients, this change came both as a relief and a recognition of what most separating couples want to achieve – a shift in their relationship which avoids the hurling of blame, particularly in a court of law.

“In April 2022, a new law introduced the no-fault divorce. That being said, fault or no-fault, divorce remains a difficult and emotional process which can come with tension and acrimony. However, it doesn't have to be that way.

Teresa Davidson: How to have a positive divorce. Supplied picture

“As a lawyer who has almost exclusively dealt with difficult litigation disputes, and who specialises in acting for family clients, I have years of experience in advising clients in navigating this huge change in their lives. I offer practical tips and advice on how to have a good divorce. Or as good a divorce as possible.

“Firstly, do get advice. And get the right advice. While one might expect a lawyer to say this, I genuinely know the benefit my clients have had from taking good legal advice early. Knowing where you stand in a complex legal system gives you power, and that can change your whole approach. It can take the fear out of the situation and give you the confidence to know where to go next.

“Also, choose your lawyer carefully. You need to have someone you trust, who listens to what you want and who will “have your back”, but who is also strong enough to tell you the truth about what is realistic, and not just what you want to hear. While it may initially feel good to hear that you will achieve everything you want, this may ultimately waste your time and money, by pursuing unachievable outcomes. Having a lawyer who has the right experience and approach can save you time and money; having one who encourages you to battle unnecessarily may not be best for you. Our approach is more holistic, considering the whole family dynamic, which will benefit you in the long-term.

“Communication is key. Once your lawyers have stepped away, you and your former partner are likely to still have family ties. If you have children, you will generally have contact with each other in the long term. Ideally, you want to be able to continue those relationships respectfully. Your lawyer can help or hinder that process; they should be firm, but respectful. If your lawyer has no regard for the damage they do to your future relationships, then perhaps they are not putting you and your family first. Your lawyer should also help you to maintain your own voice, while ensuring your interests are protected. One of my key tips to clients at the early stages of a separation is to listen – listen to what your former partner says they want, but don’t commit to a plan, especially a financial one, without taking advice first.

“There’s a lot of attention around the concept of self-care. Some may view this as a superficial notion. But actually, caring for yourself should be an integral part of your divorce journey. This is a time when you will need a strong support network. Divorce can take a toll on your emotional and physical well-being. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is important for ending the relationship on good terms, just like a robust legal team is essential for taking care of your financial aims. If you are unsure of where to turn to take care of your mental health, the Winston Solicitors family team have a trusted network of coaches, counsellors and therapists who can support you.

“A crucial focus should also be on how you will achieve the right outcome, whether on your financial settlement, or in relation to child arrangements. I know from experience how unpredictable the court process can be. That is why we focus on alternative dispute resolution methods, which provide a more predictable and less adversarial approach. By choosing dispute resolution, you can preserve relationships, save time, and reduce legal costs while still being supported by the right legal and financial team.

“Divorce is undoubtedly a challenging life event, but whilst it is the end of your marriage, it is also a new start. Navigating it can be done from a position of strength, and not one of a destructive and fault-based process. We help you to focus on positives. Our team are committed to working with our clients this way and seeing them achieve the best possible outcomes for their futures.”

To find out more about the Winston Solicitors Family Law Team, and how they can advise you, go to www.winstonsolicitors.co.uk

Losing the fault lines: having a positive divorce – Winston Solicitors in Leeds